random

of random things

graduation

hi, i am now a degree holder of bachelor of science in pharmacy and an RPh in the making. currently, i am busy with my self review for board exam on june. well anyway, as what i've said, i have just graduated from a local pharmacy school last march 2013. no, i did not graduate with  a latin honor title as what i've been aiming, i just did not, maybe it's not really for me, but i know i deserve that. i worked my ass off, i studied so hard, i woke up very early to study and stayed up so late in the evening to study. my final grades from 1st yr to 4th yr college were  above 85, my average was 90 something, my grades are enough to be cum laude, but i lacked extra curricular activities, again, cum laude is not for me. yes, i am so bitter, but i got no choice, i have to accept it, it's the best for me.

spring 2013

i went back to america after graduation, again, to get a "new stamp" in my visa, in order not to forfeit my immigrant status. nothing really  happened. as usual, i did baby sitting for 3 kids in vegas, stayed there for like 9 days, got my renewed nevada card and some mandalay bay tour and that was it. i went home to study and review for board exam. and i missed 4 days of pharmacology,  feels like i missed 2 years of pharmacy school!!!

summer review class

i was back to the real world after america, i was back in facing my books, reviewers and i was back in starvation and poverty. but i preferred these stuffs than you know, baby sitting, at least i have what you call "independence and freedom".  so here's the routine, 4 consecutive days of review classes, 2 days off (self study of what was reviewed in 4days), then 1 day exam.  it was so tiring, imagine, waking up so early for 8am reciew then staying up so late at night to study then waking up again before 8am blah blah, cycle cycle.. and it's finally over. now is the time for our self review/study. anyway, such a good thing to know that i topped 3 exams out of 14 subjects, without reading pacop or any reviewers (galing rin kasi sa mga reviewers ang exams) unlike what others did. i just relied on what i ve read, studied, notes and what i know, and some common sense too. i failed 1 exam and that was pharmacology, it hurts you know.

of love and my future

if you happen to read my post 2 months ago, that is about not moving on, well right now, i think there's this "progress", you know, i cant deny the fact that there is still something, but what i am trying to say is that, i am near the finish line of totally moving on which again is a good thing. i know i dont deserve him, and he does not deserve me either. i am 20 years old, soon to be professional. i think i have to be matured enough uhmmm. ang hirap i-explain, basta ganun, my future guy should be matured too, professional, yung lalaking may sense of humor, di nadadala sa temptasyon, working, faithful, effortful, i am not looking for a perfect man, i just need someone who finds me sexy despite of my very big braso, butod na tiyan, broad shoulders, or someone who will just love me for the restof my life, yung may contentment sa buhay, a man who is deserving to be my husband, to break my virginity. hindi naman ako nagmamadali sa pag-aasawa, point ko lang dito, 20 na po ako, kailangan na rin magmature,mag isip nang maayos para sa future, yung next na lalaking iboboyfriend ko, siyempre, sana siya na rin si future, ampanget naman kasi 20 kana, pa fling-fling pa rin? or anu yan? friends with benefits? 

continuing with science

i have this very ambitious goal, that is to study cancer (oncology) to become onco-pharmacist, but there's this big risk of infertility when you handle anticancer drugs. when i was in a jeep, i was also dreaming of studying molecular biology, that is, i want to become a geneticist, because i am so curious with this human genome project that i want to join them. haha. most of the time, i just want to proceed studying medicine, and be called doctora. 

you will never know

I’m so thankful and happy, midterm exams are finally over, but should i be happy with the future results? Well anyway, that is not the reason why I opened blogger, what I wanted to post here is something that I don’t usually post. I guess this would be lengthy post of my feelings, emotions, rants, hatred and whatever things that would pop out from my mind, and you will never understand this post, I tell you. I’m writing it now online for the following reasons:

• I’ve been carrying this burden/emotions/feelings for more than 6 months.
• I have no one to share this with, even my close friends or sisters, I’m not brave enough to tell them, I’m shy and it’s awkward and too corny.
• If ever I will die within 24 hours, at least there’s someone who will tell what I feel for the past months and as of now.
• It’s february, the LOVE month, so at least I have one good reason to be somehow corny.

To the someone whom i’m referring to in this post: i know you will never read this, you will never know my confessions, it’s okay. Let me start,

We broke up 9 months ago, I tried to move one when I was staying in Vegas, I diverted my attention in babysitting my niece and nephew. I went home last June, I know, what I did abroad never helped me. You started a facebook conversation, I told you I have not moved on and that I still love you. You never replied “i love you too”. I really cried that night and i told myself to move one. i was so lucky enough that my first semester for my 4^th yr in college was jam packed, thesis, thesis, thesis and duty. These kept me busy for a long time, it somehow helped me to forget you and move on. But actually there are times, whenever i feel so bitter with my friends’ partners or whenever i am alone, or whenever i’m bored because no one texts me, i thought of you all the time. Thinking that, you were still with me, and i was thinking too those happy moments we had and the text messages i sent you whenever i’m bored and alone. Before 2012 ended, we talked, there was reconciliation and a formal closure. After it, I realized I never moved on, I was still the same, so in love with you, and i don’t know why. January 2013, our retreat, you sent me a letter through a friend, i cried buckets, i regretted, i wished i have listened to you first, just pure regrets.  After a week, we saw each other again, we dated, we did what we did when we were still in the formal relationship. But we went out as “friends”, you said we can be best friends, but no, i don’t want a best friend, what i wanted was to stay just like that, just friends, no commitments  feelings attached but still called friends. But i never told you what i wanted. You told me too, that we feel exactly the same, nakamove on na ako, ok na wala ka, pero takot akong mapunta ka sa iba, i’m sorry, i lied in the “move on” part, as what i have said, i never moved on, i tried to, but shitness happens, i still can’t. And yes! I am too scared that you will fall for other girls out there. Maybe i just can’t accept the fact that we were not meant to be, and of course, i can’t accept the fact that you never loved me as i do to you. Sometimes, there’s a part of me who says you’re not worthy of my love, i deserve someone better. One who will fight for me and one who will never entertain/flirt other girls in facebook, chat, twitter or text and one who is never “too friendly” to girls. It seems that my previous phrases define me as a jealous woman and an insecure girlfriend, well you’re right. I get jealous all the time, that’s why we broke up (one of the reasons), i can’t stand myself from jealousy and you were too flirt. As of the moment, it’s been 2 weeks since your last text message, i know you’re trying to keep distance away from me, but whatever, you’re still enjoying flirting to other girls,  yes i’m jealous again and this should not be. I hope my busyness in school will help me to forget you and will help me to move on totally, and at the same time, i should focus more in my candidacy for honors and graduation is next. Reviews and modular exams for board exam are forces to help me totally get over you. I WILL TAKE THE JUNE 2013 PHARMACY BOARD EXAM. I WILL PASS THE JUNE 2013 PHARMACY BOARD EXAM AND I WILL TOP THE JUNE 2013 PHARMACY BOARD EXAM. And time will come we will be over, i will find a man for forever and it’s not you anymore. But before i end this post, what i really wanted to say is, i still love you and i miss you. Au revoir! this is really awkward and corny.

not really a year end post

hi blogosphere! happppy new year! this is not really the usual lengthy year-end review i usually write when new year strikes, this is a quick post.

to cut it short, here : 

2012 highlight

JANUARY- I don't really remember what happened or what i did, oooh! it was thesis formulation time, nothing special really happened, except for the flourished love life i have way back. haha

FEBRUARY- my 19th bday or should i say, last "teen" bday. usual routines happened, academics and love life.

MARCH- i think i was cramming this time because our final exams were set too early for manufacturing internship. this is also the month i received the letter of US embassy about my scheduled interview. a mini get together also with high school buddies after a long time.

APRIL- holy week, my brother went home and we went to lake cebu. my love life was comatose, nearly meeting its death. april made me so nervous for the visa interview and medical examinations at st lukes, special mention the genitalia exam, the worst exam ever. the last week was a good one, i finally received my US visa and immediately bought my plane ticket to America.

MAY- may 3rd to be exact, i set my steps in America, first state? hawaii. it was such a wonderful blessing from above! having solo international flights, dealing and communicating with people in which language is a barrier, but well, i have overcome all of these. next stop was the sin city, las vegas nevada, had a quality time with my sister and her family. casinos and beautiful lights all over. los angeles was next! hollywood, disneyland, universal, all were great experiences. of course, the ooozing sa lamig, next stop? san francisco! of course with the famous golden gate bridge! so happy at the end, got my green card already, and this makes me a permanent citizen, 5 more years and i'm a dual citizen!

JUNE- busy buying gifts and pasalubong for the people back in Ph. i went to back to Ph for 1st semester, was busy preparing for thesis and academics. 

JULY- my last pharmacy acquaintance party where i did impersonation (lip synching Dr. jones) and placed 4th (out of 12!). i was also the team leader of group Lyra, we won the 3rd place overall (out of 12 groups) not bad at all, right?

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER- I don't really remember specific events here, i think i am still busy dealing with academics and thesis here.

OCTOBER- final exam, last intramurals, thesis defense in a week. i started my manufacturing duty at RDL. and i went back to Los angeles and las vegas for a new stamp in my visa. went "gaga" over shopping and spent $$$$$, the highest so far.

NOVEMBER- i went back to PH for 2nd semester. still dealing with academics and coping up on my absences in hospital and manufacturing duties.

DECEMBER- 3 weeks of  studying and coping up again in duty. last week? the best, i had my elementary, high school and college reunions, get together and Christmas parties, maybe a farewell party too? haha. we'll see.

2012 was the best year so far for me, the best part i can say, of course except having a wonderful family, was my trip to America. i thank You Lord for a great year! cheers for that. i always have You Lord, you never fail me. 2013? what's in you? graduation? pharmacy license? staying for good? we'll see. keep calm and enjoy the rides brought to you by 2013. love you!

ps: i thought this was a quick post, but it wasn't. i talk too much.

The Strip video/photo diary

hi. this video was uploaded in youtube, it contains memories of my las vegas' strip tour last sem break. how i  wish i could go back now to America and celebrate Christmas with mom and sister.

back in PH for 2nd sem

as you all know, i went back to LA and las vegas (fall season) for sembreak vacation (wow, feeling rich lang ang peg!) and to have a new stamp for my visa (which is the main reason why i went back). most of you who know for pleasure lang yung visit, pwedeng oo, pero yung totoo kasi hindi ako makakastay ng pinas for more than 6 months, kung sumobra, eh di good bye american dreams na ako. that's why all of my plans now are set in america, my job, my career, my future, my life. it will depend on me na on how i will achieve my goals, i think i have grown enough to think for myself and for my future. chos! iyfyou're a reader of this blog, i have posted articles about my solo flight travel to america. kung bakit takot na takot ako, yung pag-iiyak ko whole day basta ganun. yung second time na, wala ng takot, medyo kampante na rin ako na kering-keri ko na. although kinabahan pa rin ng konti kasi ano, haha. sikreto ko na yun. as usual, the filipino air carrier pa rin ako, Philippine airlines, ewan ko ba, gusto ko sana ng maraming stop overs para masaya, sayang yung korean air, stopover sana sa seoul, sana next time, kahit 2 stopovers of different countries na. hehe. kahit 22 hours travel pa, i can manage now my vertigo, kering keri yan ng bonamine ko.anyway, i'm back to PH for second sem, when this sem ends, goodbye SPC forever and goodbye philippines na rin, hindi ko alam kung for good na, pero alam kong uuwi pa rin ako to take the board exam. ewan ko ba kung ano pa ang pwedeng mangyari. basta ngayon, ako'y isang babaeng walang pahinga, everyday, i wake up at 5 am or 6am for school, review and duty and umuuwi ng 5-9pm. then matutulog ng before 11pm, then gising na naman, the usual routine. hay buhay, sige lang, konting tiis na lang. may ginhawa na. 

daily routine
 monday- 9am-7:30pm class
tuesday- 7:30am-4:00 pm class
wednesday 7:30-7:30pm class
thursday 8am-3pm duty at RDL; 5:30-7:30pm- class
friday 8am-5pm RDL duty
saturday- pre board exam review 8am-5pm
sunday- pre board exam review or duty at san pedro hospital 8am-5pm

I CAN NOW SPEAK AND WRITE FRENCH, (LITTLE!) FRENCH CLASS IS KILLING ME, SRSLY.

salut monsieur/mademoiselle/madame!